Constraints

Abstractly staying in line with the skeleton's limitations, I wish to discuss constraints today.  I belong to a book club and one of the members was talking about her college-aged daughter and how she asks her "what do you want to do, you could do anything?".  The daughter finds this question paralyzing.  I can relate to this reaction from the daughter.  The mother thinks that she is allowing the daughter freedom not realizing that the great wide open can feel daunting.  All parents want their children to have all the opportunities they were not afforded or did not act upon when they were younger.  The mother is coming from a loving place.  With this example in mind, I want to posit that constraints allow human beings to focus.  We just read a book by Twyla Tharp and she explains that when she was in a choreographic situation where she had no constraints on money, music or talented dancers she floundered through the process as there were too many options.  I know it is anti-American but there is such a thing as having too much.  The time it takes to narrow focus to make what one sets out to create is much more difficult and time consuming when there are no limits.  Time is a valuable commodity, especially when faced with a deadline, such as a dance performance.  She discussed this difficult situation of having every resource to illustrate the contrary where she worked on a project with almost no resources and it was focused, succinct and cohesive.  I have to agree with Twyla based on my own experience that I flourish with limits.  Here is an everyday example, if I have the option to make anything I want for dinner I feel a bit overwhelmed because the possibilities are endless.  On the other hand if I have only nine items in the fridge I can focus on those items and make a plan for dinner.  I could go to the store to augment the nine items but there is a part of me that likes to accept the challenge of working with what I have.  Can you see where I am heading?  It does not matter what the decision is; career, modern dance choreography or dinner.  The point is if we learn more about our personal constraints, see yesterday's blog example: the limitations of our unique skeleton, we can find comfort in those constraints as guides to help us focus on what we want to achieve in our lives.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not against exploring options, I am merely suggesting that the better you know yourself the easier it becomes to weed out the options that do not serve you best.  After all, we are looking to explore options in which we flourish, grow and maybe even help others to do the same.  My advice, that I will take and maybe you may consider is to embrace yourself, as you are-constraints and all, and to leap from that platform to greater and greater heights.